A SIGN OF THE TIMES

One of the best websites for getting getting avian flu information is the FluWiki. It was set up by public health officials and scientists, and it is a virtual think-tank for all things fluish.

Today, someone asked if maybe we weren't all spending too much time on the wiki. Many of us check in several times each day. With apologies to David Letterman, I present . . .



Top 10 signs you may be obsessing about Avian Flu.

10. You look for shopping carts with heavy duty shocks.

9. You not only plan to cut down all the trees in your backyard, you are planning to do a midnight clear cutting of your neighbor’s yard as well.

8. You’ve tried repeatedly to warn Sylvester to stay away from Tweety-bird.

7. You’ve bought a windshield squeegee with a 10 foot handle

6. The stock boys at every supermarket in town know you by your first name, and run when they see you coming.

5. You’ve installed an in-line chlorinator for your lawn sprinkler system.

4. The Flu Wiki logo is burned into your monitor’s screen

3. If a pandemic doesn’t happen, your backup plan is to use your preps to open a pharmacy.

2. You’ve started telling your spouse that you’re surfing porn sites instead of admitting you’re back on the wiki again.

And the number one sign you may be obsessing about Avian Flu

1. You can use Orthomyxoviridae and hemagglutinin in the same sentence.