# 7489
And now for something completely different . . .
Although it isn’t always apparent to the general public - doctors, nurses, and other healthcare providers often have a wicked – if not always completely appropriate, sense of humor.
It’s a built-in defense system, that allows them to deal with the never-ending parade of emergencies (or PITAs) they must deal with each day.
Back in 2009, I wrote about some of the medical acronyms that were used when I was a young medic (long ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . .) in Kick In The TEETH.
- FUO, for instance, was Fever of Undetermined Origin.
Pretty innocuous, and unlikely to come back and bite you in a court of law. I suspect it is still used most places.
Others are far less PC (but a lot funnier!), and would no doubt prove `problematic’ in any legal review of a patient’s chart.
Some of the more famous ones include:
- GOMER - Get Out of My Emergency Room (reserved for nuisance patients, often `frequent flyers’)
- CTD - Circling The Drain (Patients near death, not expected to survive)
- DFO - Done Fell Out (anything from fainting to cardiac arrest)
- ETOH- Abbreviation for Ethanol (but can also stand for Extremely Trashed Or Hammered – i.e. Drunk)
- FDGB – Fall Down, Go Boom (same as DFO, but usually elderly)
- FLK- Funny looking kid
- Positive `O’ Sign – Comatose, mouth wide open
- Positive `Q’ Sign – Comatose , mouth wide open, tongue protruding.
- PITA – Pain In The Ass
And perhaps the most famous of all; GOK – God Only Knows (perplexing symptoms)
I rehash these whimsical acronyms today because the Annals of Emergency Medicine has published in their July, 2013 edition an inspired bit of medical lunacy that anyone with an emergency medical background will appreciate.
(For everyone else, I do apologize, as much of this will probably make no sense whatsoever . . .)
By all means, follow the link to read:
Annals of Emergency Medicine
Volume 62, Issue 1 , Page 95, July 2013An Absurdly Random, and Completely Blind, Review and Prospective Validation of Mathematical Truisms in Emergency Medicine and Critical Care
Torrey Goodman, MD
Study Objective
We thought that in the darkest part of night shifts, when the diurnal variation of our internal clocks is defunct and all organized neuronal electrical activity in the cerebrum has ceased, that mathematical truisms might be a valid tool in the assessment and treatment of the acutely ill, injured, or merely crazy patients in the emergency department (ED). Therefore, in support of evidence-based medicine, we sought to define and subsequently validate any mathematical information that may be clinically useful at 3 am.
Very long-time readers of this blog may recall that back in early 2006 I wrote my own `mock’ paper on Polyidiotitis ( a condition which quite sadly, still remains unrecognized by the medical community).
Polyidiotitis : Diagnosis and Treatment.
It has been said that the first casualty of any war is the truth. Undoubtedly true. During an emergency, the first casualty is usually common sense. During a large-scale event, such as a Pandemic, Earthquake or Hurricane, Polyidiotitis, an insidious and serious disease, runs rampant.
No one is immune, and the symptoms may not always be obvious early on. Even professional responders have been known contract this oft times embarrassing and sometimes deadly disease. Etiology of this disorder is poorly understood, but clustering of cases is common, suggesting a human-to-human vector.
Person’s afflicted with this disease often exhibit the following symptoms. Rapid pulse, increased blood pressure, rapid, oft times shallow breathing, and bizarre psychiatric manifestations that include, but are not limited to, a feeling of invulnerability or immortality. This may be a dissociative disorder, as victims of Polyidiotitis seem to lose any vestige of situational awareness. They develop a narrow focus, a tunnel vision of sorts, that diminishes their ability to make rational decisions.
Clearly there is a disconnect in the patient between reality their perception thereof. Victims of this disease may argue, quite convincingly, that there is absolutely nothing wrong. When confronted, they may even become combative.
Those in close contact with these subjects must take care not to become afflicted themselves (see Lemming’s Disease).
A paradoxical response is sometimes seen in Polyidiotitis, characterized by denial and decent into a semi-fugue state. These victims, while not exhibiting the classic symptoms of Polyidiotitis, are just as profoundly affected. They often fail to take action, or prepare, in the face of an advancing threat. Indeed, their dissociation may be so complete that they simply are unable to accept that any threat exists.
For reasons not yet known, this paradoxical response has been found to be most prevalent in politicians, business leaders, and people in authority.
They say that if you look back at something you wrote more than 5 years ago and aren’t at least a little bit embarrassed, then you haven’t progressed as a writer.
The good news is, after re-reading this piece, I find myself slightly mortified. But not so much that I wasn’t willing to dredge it up again.
I guess that’s progress.
